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"A gung-ho Candide with a taste for places it is wiser to avoid. . . the reports collected in 'I Wouldn't Start From Here' are graphic, comic, bemused and properly contemptuous of faith and ideology."
- Jonathan Meades, Books of the Year, Evening Standard
"An utterly sui generis report from the world's plague-spots."
- Michael Bywater, Books of the Year, New Statesman
"I can think of no more entertaining companion on a perilous journey than the ever hopeful, wildly optimistic yet clear-thinking Andrew Mueller."
- Rory MacLean, The Guardian
"A tour-de-force of hilarious, harrowing and ultimately enlightening reportage that will remind readers of the work of P.J. O'Rourke, Jon Ronson and David Foster Wallace."
- The Washington Times
"Unafraid to portray the world's warring people not just as victims and sufferers of legitimate grievances, but also as bloody-minded bastards and ill-informed fools."
- The Kathmandu Post
"A mix of dark humour and incisive political discourse."
- CNN Go
"His sardonic, self-deprecating perspective makes for unstuffy company."
- The Los Angeles Times
"Peppered with trenchant observations that reflect a nimble, cut-to-the-chase practicality, Mueller's interviews with everyone from terrorist warlords to international peacemakers are refreshingly irreverent yet astute."
- Booklist
"Travel writing in the danger zone that maintains its hipness and humanity."
- George Dunford, Books of the Year, Readings Monthly
"An addition to the genre founded by P.J. O'Rourke's 'Holidays In Hell', but it is one that pushes the boundaries."
- The Australian
"Mueller is the embodiment of what can happen with a fire in the belly and a desire to write out loud."
- Australian Book Review
"Mueller's travel writing is as incisive and entertaining as anything he's ever written about music."
- TNT
"A joy."
- Financial Times
"Delightfully laconic."
- The New Statesman
"Alternately chilling, funny and surprising, there's some great reportage here as Mueller struggles to reach an understanding of the world, quizzing the highest minister and the lowliest peasant."
- The Glasgow Herald
"His acerbic wit is matched by true empathy. . . we need this kind of gonzo journalism more than ever."
- Wanderlust
"Mueller spins what could have been the grimmest geopolitics into the finest black comedy. Like a print version of 'The Daily Show'."
- FHM
"Lively reporting from a gently humorous narrator."
- Chris Ayres, The Times
"Touching, often blackly comic reportage."
- GQ
"Brilliantly observed, articulate, often funny and immensely readable."
- The List
"Snappy, self-deprecating and sometimes outright hilarious."
- The Age
"Indelibly humorous and heartfelt."
- Sydney Sunday Telegraph
"An instructive ricochet between cities and continents and war zones."
- Time Out
"He brings to his material the mixture of rage and earthy irony that is the mark of a great satirist
. . . rewarding, thought-provoking and ludicrously funny."
- PopMatters
"Mueller's book is an excellent example of why today's brave, lucid hacks are forced to admit fear and confusion."
- South China Morning Post
"His reporting is sharp, his experiences terrifying and funny."
- Melbourne Herald-Sun
"If you enjoy your international affairs and politics with a good dose of cynicism and black humour, then this book is one to read."
- Brisbane Courier-Mail
"Often laugh-out-loud funny, the writing is utterly engaging."
- Launceston Sunday Examiner
"Mueller's irreverent reportage from abroad is fundamentally a clever cover for the author's ruminations on race, religion, revolution, rock'n'roll and other important issues since September 11, 2001."
- The West Australian
"As hilarious and sardonic a host as this ridiculous world of ours demands."
- Shortlist
"Mueller busies himself with finding the odd, the surreal and the laughable as much as the shocking and upsetting."
- New Zealand Herald
"A real eye for surreal moments of black humour. . . Mueller's work here digs much deeper than the standard newspaper travel essay."
- Sydney Sun-Herald
"His best story, about his brief, bizarre jailing in Cameroon, reads like a 21st century 'Goon Show' script."
- Good Reading
"A rollicking ride through some of the world's scariest scenarios."
- Kalgoorlie Miner
"A strikingly funny book about some seriously unfunny places."
- Perth Sunday Times
"Not bad for a guy from Wagga Wagga."
- The Wagga Wagga Advertiser
"Andrew Mueller's piece about my band's tour with The Hold Steady is my favourite thing ever written about us. The fact that he is a war correspondent (though he claims otherwise) and music journalist and
approaches both with a similar slant makes him one of the most interesting
writers out there to me."
- Patterson Hood, Drive-By Truckers
"The most important critical anthology on popular music from a single author in a long time, its humour and insight equal with collections by Nick Tosches or Robert Palmer."
- KEXP Seattle
"Take one part P.J. O'Rourke, a healthy dose of Lester Bangs and a dash of Hunter S. Thompson, and you've got Andrew Mueller."
- Bookgasm
"Sharply observed and wittily constructed."
- Honolulu Star-Advertiser
"New edition of the rock classic."
- NY Press
"Mueller's humour makes for some enlightening reading."
- Biloxi-Gulfport Sun-Herald
"Sharp, witty and sarcastic."
- Chicago Tribune
"Really rather good, in a barnstorming, country-punk sort of way. . . a highly capable ensemble."
- The Quietus
"A more than capable debut - allusive country-tough songs."
- Uncut
"The Blazing Zoos are undoubtedly fun, but they also have depth. . .
everything from Mueller's extensive use of brackets to the band's loving
recreation of classic country riffs bespeaks sincerity."
- Americana UK
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THE WAGES OF SPIN
Richard Nixon and the death of political interviews
The Guardian, June 2002
RICHARD Nixon was a bully, a bigot, an anti-semite, a paranoid neurotic, a war criminal and, despite his most famous protestation of innocence, a crook. That he is remembered principally as the only US president ever disgraced into resigning, and that for covering up a burglary, seems a pitifully inadequate punishment for posterity to deal him – as ironies go, it is comparable with Al Capone’s lone conviction for tax evasion. Most of all, Nixon was a liar. When he went to his (doubtless very warm) eternal home in 1994, he left us absolutely no reason to believe a word he ever said about anything. As such, there would appear to be nothing at all to be gained by watching an interview with him.
However, Sir David Frost’s “The Nixon Tapes”, shortly to be broadcast by Discovery, is grimly compelling television. The interviews were filmed in 1977, less than three years after Nixon quit, and amount to the only rigorous interrogation about his misdemeanours that Nixon ever endured (regrettably, Frost was not vested with the statutory power necessary to assemble a firing squad). Only five hours were ever broadcast out of nearly 29 hours recorded – for this series, Discovery will show ten hours.
The David Frost shown here will astonish those who’ve only seen him spoon-feeding guests on that chat show nobody watches on Sunday mornings, or struggling to stay awake through “Through The Keyhole”. The Frost that met Nixon 25 years ago was exacting, disdainful and, most devastatingly, silent – on several occasions, he just sits for minutes at a time and lets Nixon talk and talk and talk himself into utterly unpickable moral knots. Nixon, having lied about so much for so long, clearly no longer had any idea what the truth was.
Though Nixon’s testimony is, by definition, at best doubtful and at worst useless, “The Nixon Tapes” is fascinating as a close-up of the personality who defined the modern adversarial relationship between politics, press and public. Before Nixon, people may have thought their leaders were liars. After Nixon, they knew it, and the default position of the western world’s electorate ever since has been one of mistrust and apathy. Before Nixon, the press may have wondered about the limits of their power over politicians. After Nixon was scalped by The Washington Post’s Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, they knew there weren’t any, and now the first resort of glory-hunting journalists on both sides of the Atlantic is the hysterical call for someone’s head. Before Nixon, politicians wondered who they should trust. After Nixon, they knew: nobody, and now they treat the truth as something that should be hidden from view at all costs.
In this respect, “The Nixon Tapes” is the dawn of the modern age of the political interview. Nixon’s motivation for appearing, in common with all politicians who consent to such enterprises, was not a raging desire to lay the facts before the commonweal, but to look good, and be liked – the revelations that do escape are the result of Frost’s subtle technique and Nixon’s occasional failure to remember which whopper he’s supposed to be telling at a given moment.
On television, the post-Nixon relationship between politicians and press has taken the form of attritional contests between people who ask questions and people who don’t answer them. Britain is blessed with some splendidly querulous interviewers, but their different personas – Jeremy Paxman’s crotchety Colonel, Jon Snow’s disappointed headmaster, Jonathan Dimbleby’s over-eager cub reporter – are wasted on hyperactively wary politicians who view every inquiry as a threat: it’s like watching world-class fast bowlers trying to tempt a rash shot out of a keep left sign. It almost never happens that the viewer feels better informed for having watched an interview with one of the people they pay to run their country; such broadcasts can only be welcomed by television repair firms, who must do a roaring trade replacing screens cracked by angrily flung tea mugs.
This nation echoed to the clang of porcelain on glass just a few weeks ago, when our prime minister went three rounds with Britain’s most feared inquisitor, Jeremy Paxman – who once, as if seized by a perverse determination to demonstrate the futility of his job, asked a prevaricating Michael Howard the same question 14 times. Blair’s performance during the Paxman interviews was truly Nixonian in its opacity – witness his ridiculous vacillating about whether or not he believed that creationism should be taught as fact in schools (“I am not sure that it is and therefore I don’t know that it’s a relevant question,” he wittered, while you willed Paxman to grasp him by the lapels and yell “FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, SHOULD WE TEACH OUR KIDS THAT GOD PULLED THE UNIVERSE OUT OF A HAT IN SIX DAYS, OR NOT?”). It was often less like an interview than a sequel to Stoppard’s “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead”, reaching a celebrated apotheosis of absurdity when Paxman asked about the £100,000 donated to the Labour Party by Richard Desmond, owner of The Express, and one or two less family-oriented titles.
“Horny Housewives,” recited Paxman, with a commendably straight face, “Mega Boobs, Posh Wives, Skinny & Wriggly. . . do you know what these magazines are like?”
“No, I don’t,” replied the prime minister.
This one moment illustrates the pointlessness of these encounters better than any other. Tony Blair may not be a regular reader of Horny Housewives, Mega Boobs, Posh Wives or Skinny & Wriggly, but he certainly knows what they’re like, in the same way that one does not need to subscribe to Railway Modeller to surmise that it contains articles about model railways. It would have been hoping too much that Blair might have chirped “Yes, they’re full of pictures of men with unfashionable moustaches copulating joylessly with surgically distorted young women,” but it speaks volumes for the pervasiveness of the creed that Nixon epitomised that Blair’s reflex response to a tricky question was to duck.
It’s always an interesting exercise, at moments like this, to imagine that our leaders respect us sufficiently to tell the truth, rather than parading such nonsense – remember, not only did Blair know he was talking rubbish, he knew we knew he was talking rubbish. Why couldn’t he just have said “Frankly, the Labour Party is up to its neck in debt, so we’ll take it where we can get it, and it never hurts people in my position to keep newspaper proprietors on side”? It might not have been tactful, but it would have been honest, and it would not have created the impression that our prime minister thought the electorate were complete idiots. Indeed, had Blair adopted such a tack throughout the interview, his approval ratings would have rocketed (Paxman: “You have total confidence in Mr Byers?” Blair: “God, no. He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel. But you can’t get the staff.”)
It is staggering that modern governments, in thrall as they are to polls and focus groups, should fail to apprehend the patent fact that people much prefer politicians who give straight answers to straight questions – not every Londoner who voted for Ken Livingstone agreed with all of his policies, but every Londoner who did vote for him knew that Livingstone wasn’t a careerist stooge reading platitudes off a pager. As Richard Nixon discovered, but as few who’ve followed him have learnt, all lies fail eventually, because the subsidiary lies necessary to sustain them are too easily lost in the fog. When Nixon finally tells Frost the truth, even he looks briefly liberated.
“I let down my friends,” he mumbles. “I let down the country, I let down our system of government, the dreams of young people who ought to get into government, [but] who think it’s too corrupt and the rest of it. . . I will have to carry that burden all my life.” So will we, Dick. So will we.
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